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Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
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Somewhere, I've always beleived that fun is more important than wisdom.
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Sunday, October 18th, 2009
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If you don't know where to go, be where you are.
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Wednesday, August 19th, 2009
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Sweet!
In the last week and a half at work I have actually finished 2 things (paper writings) I've been trying to finish forever.....
And now they are done, I am free to do much more relaxing things like actual lab work at work!
How great!
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Tuesday, August 18th, 2009
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I need a deadline for this proposal I'm writing at work.
It's been 4 weeks and I should have had it done.
So my deadline is Next Wednesday, as in Aug 12th. It's in writing now.
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Wednesday, August 5th, 2009
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In 5 hours and 13 mninutes it's the finale!!
Aho Brandon!
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"The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life."~
*****************************************
I LOVE this!
Let this time be NOW!~
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"Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
But Today is a gift.
That is why they call it the Present."
-Wise Turtle from KingFu Panda
"I like to wake up every morning like it was on purpose"
-Will Smith, in Hitch
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Thursday, July 16th, 2009
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So it's become fairly clear to me that many of the things I bitch about, are things I do not show enough gratitude for. I do not appreciate them for the treasures they are.
I hide the gift behind something I see as inconvenience,
or something I see as 'not how I would prefer it'.
But that is the way it is.
What is there for me to be gratefull for?
Maybe I could start a morning ritual.
Mornings are one of the things I most underappreciate.
I could wake up, and instead of pressing snooze 10 times and growling...
say a quiet prayer of gratitude, as I ease my eyes into opening.
What could I say?
I could say:
'welcome' to the new morning.
Welcome to the newness of the new day.
Bring on the light of the sun and the joy of the new adventure.
Thank you for the opportunity.
Thank you for the gift of something completely new.
Each repetition is a totally new experience, and this morning is no exception.
Let me arise to it with wakeful eyes and an open heart,
and let me feel all of its gifts with gratitude.~
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I've decided I might want to become a park warden for the government. :)
This means I need to learn to use a shotgun, ride a horse, and do some summer job in a park somewhere to get experience....cool.
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The 'idea of a journal entry' today was, if you had to cut one thing out of your budget as simply as possible, what would it be?
I'm having trouble answering the question myself. Christophe's always telling me 'You have no posessions!', and he's pretty much right. I suppose I could cut out the cost of renting movies, which I do every few weeks. The rest is mainly necessities. I suppose I could cut out my cell phone, but that's only like 25$ a month. Anyhow, interesting think.
In other news, I'm stoked because out of the blue Christophe rented a canoe for us to canoe in this weekend! We were gonna go camping Sunday night and now it looks like it will be camping plus canoeing!
Last weekend I went on a canoe trip for 7 hours down the North Saskatchewan River. It was very beautiful, despite being to close to the city. However, my back did get sore after 3 hours of paddling. So this weekend I am not gonna paddle for more than 2 hours.
In the future I'd like to get into kayaking instead because with the alternate paddling on each side and the narrower boat there is less reaching and twisting, so I think it will be easier on the back. Plus, in a kayak you're in a slightly reclined posture, which is much easier for me than the more-than-vertical posture of canoeing.
So yes, kayaking still on bucketlist.
However, I have done the hoola-hooping and bonfires ones. And am still working on the damn degree.
xoxo
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I have been doing yoga, which is doing great things for my breathing.
And been also paying particular attention lately to clearing/comforting/helping out my throat chakra.
And after what I thought was a good throat chakra clear yesterday,
wouldn't ya know...
that today I have absolutely NO VOICE!....almost funny...
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Well fuck...
I had a long overdue conversation with my roomie and I guess technically we made progress but man I just don't even feel comfortable going home now.
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Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
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oh fuck me hardcore.
I just went to the dentist...ouch...fuck...grumble...bitch bitch bitch...that place would be so much more pleasant if I were deaf...old age might have some perks...
basically, i have to get everything done under the sun. Assholes! Because it's their fault! :) Chuckles.
Well so much for my whole get rich plan. Now the plan is try to stretch every penny as I pay these bills which in total will be over 2000 frickin dollars! Unfortunately, I really value good teeth. So I'm gonna pay it. Bastard.
Done grumbling now I think.
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She wants to hurt him in her anger---but doesn't.
He doesn't want to get himself to work--but manages to do so anyway, because that is what needs to be done.
He broke up with her last night--and she still gets out of her house to buy groceries and feed herself.
He doesn't very much like the candidates--but still votes to preserve democracy.
She wants a coffee--but still gives her change to a homeless man.
She doesn't respect the officer--but still pays the speeding ticket.
He would like to speak to that glamourous woman--but instead goes home to help his sick wife take care of the children.
He would like to lie down and play dead--but instead goes through the prostate surgery and the radiation.
She would like to kick her dogs--but instead takes them on a necessary walk.
He plots his revenge--and takes a vacation, instead of following through.
She would like to try psychadelics to get her out of her head--but instead settles on a virtual reality 3D movie.
He would like to be as handsome as a celebrity--but settles for a body in shape rather than the perfectly shaped body.
He would like to back down--but someone needs to stand up for the cause.
She would like to serve her country--but doesn't agree with the war.
He would like the coffee--and purchases the fair trade variety.
And as long as these quiet acts of dignity continue,
all corners of life can happen.
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I had a fabulous night tonight.
Dinner with the bf. Then went out for a few drinks on my 'own', after meeting my newest friend Meghan, with whom I went for coffee and then -get this- to a random fiddler's roost! The beers were with Heidi, Jordan, Sarah, and Will. Only Heidi do I know, but Will was quite fun as well. Seems like a 'deep' guy wondering why he's bored of a shallow life. An east coaster. I enjoyed him and all the others.
Bed now.
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I think re-formatting your computer is HIGHLY under-rated.
I just mine this week and now it's like brand new again.
You do lose all your data and have to reinstall the program, but it certainly does clear out the junk and clean up your desk top.
I'm not a fan of junk. I'm often clearing out my room. This weekend I may do some more clearing, and some hiking in the woods if my feet allow.
xo
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today i feel horrible. sick...for the third time in 3 weeks and unable to do pretty much anything...
and as such, i found myself writing a short story today which i am now partway through.
i see some truths...
i am not alone
i am still lonely.
sometimes i feel like i just need my sisters.
and as such, funny enough, jen has decided to come here the end of june...and we will to Jasper together.
I bought a humidifier and am hoping it helps calm these nose bleeds. If I wasn`t feeling so bloody horrible I`d go to the doctor. Ain`t that ironic.
Humour is still working today.
Peace out.
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You can yell and scream and howl at the moon about it,
but at the end of it all
you have to let go
~paraphrased from Benjamin Button
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Thursday, April 30th, 2009
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I'm kind of glad it's the end...
at my 24th year's start i was living a dream of dance instructing...until I couldn't walk...and then I was busy healing from injuries....and working boring jobs...
i decided if i couldn't walk, i would canoe...so i taught canoeing for a summer...
and all the recent physical work sent my on a spiral of missing my intelligence...and so i applied for school...and so i went where i thought would be interesting and seemed a nice change...
and it's been pretty good actually...
i'm making a fairly comfortable living in the middle of a recession, and i think i'm benefitting from the courses in terms of potential career opportunities, if i should want any of them...
had a great visit home...
spiritually i can't really remember what i've learned today...
i remember being surprised at how far i go to take care of myself, in terms of physical recovery and help for depression
i guess i've always been a bit proactive...
i totally opened to a new love...and see now how i can be so strong...and my strength is carrying on with life when it doesn't give me what i want...and how i much prefer not to be strong and like being taken care of...
i learned how to let myself just vibrate slower when things tend that way...
now i'm learning the shitty role of watching your loved ones suffer when there isn't anything you can do about it..
i've been meditating 'fresh' for awhile now and i am thankful things are lining up to give me a fresh new year....
i want more boogying this year.
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michelangelo's journal