...and is coming to a close with magic.

Really,
didn't think there'd be any way I'd gather any energy today...
but dragged my ass to the 'Body Balance' class.  And it was AWESOME, and I'm a brutal judge of these things....so this is saying a lot.
Some people do their best meditation with thoughts, in the shower, candles, quiet and stillness.
Not me.
I mean, if this arises in me, I can sit still in silence and love it.  But if I force this on me...it's like jail.  Body imprisonment.
Me...I do my 'best' or most helpful meditation in movement with music (or silence sometimes)....
three ways specifically...
either with dance...
or with swimming...
or with stretching/body balance type classes.
The flavours of the one today were amazing.
Started off so literal...move left, move right...up down bend...whatever....fun but just motion....
and then there was a growing union with body...
and then there was only body togetherness....
and everything seemed to move...probably technically aweful...but as one.
and the unity...
well it made me cry a moment ... there was something that let go...
and the crying stopped...
and then there was deep leg stretching after some deep breathing... 
and i had a mild orgasm, no lie. (my second one in yoga-type classes...why don't i go more often?)
and then....
i could envision my fifth chakra...maybe imagination...maybe real...this line is blurry....
it took a few breaths...some focusing on the egg...some feeling of the word 'wassshhh'
and then fairies appeared...
flying, all female with blond hair, from my neck out...i couldn't see them go very far...
and then the fairies went to butterflies for a very very brief moment...
then blank...
then female gorilla (i only remember one) with a baby...
and then a male gorilla...a firm but kind beam outward...
and then only Blue...really.
and then... there were violins.  Both the music and the image.
And that was as far as I got.

So I feel energized.
Was a very good class, in short.

Anyway,
I know I haven't been posting much about my life in terms of 'how is my kitten', what do i think of my work, what is my apartment like...the every day stuff...
just find it a little overwhelming to document it all...
so the brief version is:
work is hard and tiring and so-so...
Taiwan is cool, got over the culutre shock of the 2-month depression..waiting for what comes, and creating joy as much as possible..
Kitten is fabulous...all black, male, green eyes.  loves fingers and to play with everything...
His name is Yong se, meaning 'trooper'.  He prefers 'kitty'.
We get on great and are fab friends.
I have some wonderful friends from training that visited me this weekend...
it was awesome...
except for a drunken twat that decided to pee off my balcony...haha. dork.
And I'm seriously thinking working less in 3 months time.
I have the option not to re-sign my kindergarten teaching contract...
this would mean 30% less pay.
and one more hour of sleep each night, even if I decided to take Chinese lessons at the university mon-fri 10-noon...it's a very good course that helps you learn fast.
I think without kindy, i'd have more time to have a life.
and...
i want a life here.
i can get money anytime...
but when else can i live in Taiwan?
And even if I drop kindy...
i'll come home with more money than i left with.
maybe not enough to go to Africa...or maybe enough, who knows
maybe enough to do something else...
but...if money means always tired, 
no real life or time for hobbies...
and almost no energy...
and the difference is really only like $4000...and six months of living....
is it really worth it?
I think it isn't worth it.
I'll be poor.
My branch staff will not like me or be impressed.
But you know what...
I'll be a lot happier.
So I'll finish these 3 months, cuz I've given my word...and then after that I'll just stick to my nighttime teaching (to clarify, I teach morning kindergarten, evening gradeschool.)
Plus, the kindy students are sweet....but I have issues with teaching them...
I just don't want to be the 'tamer' of child life.
I know it has to happen for this society...
but I don't really like doing it myself...
and older children are already more 'socialized' so i don't feel like I'm destroying their natural urges to go nuts. haha.
Anyway,
still toying with the idea...
not sure yet...
but no kindy would be less stress...
and getting good at Chinese would be quite cool.
plus I'd have afternoons to do homework/lesson plan/play with kitty/work out/whatever.
So...I'll decide soon.

Anyway,
I need to email my family.
been awhile since i did.
xo